Friday, May 22, 2015

3 Things learned in 3 years of Marriage

It has been three years. Three lesson-filled, challenging beautiful years. In a span of that time, we got married, honeymooned, got pregnant, gave birth, moved 4 times, and  traveled as a couple and as a family.

It is worth pondering as the years passed and see how it made me appreciate married life as it is.

·        The joy in marriage is found in the little things. Everyday little things. You may have heard it before and it holds true to us. It is in the little acts that a marriage blossoms, nourished and thrives. It is the kiss early in the morning, spontaneous hugs, late night cuddles, and unexpected messages. It is when your spouse looks after the baby so you could take rest, when he volunteers to do the laundry, when you cook his favorite meal, when he makes you laugh over silly things, when he holds your hand in public and even while sleeping, and the list goes on and on... 

This comes easy for me because Dave is naturally a sweet husband. He is not a flowers and chocolate kind of guy but he does more than that. Thankfully, I am not into chocolates or flowers for that matter! And because he knows that I love being kissed and hugged, he showers me with them. He always helps me out in the kitchen while I prepare our ‘baon’ early in the morning. For me, it’s not the grand gestures – it is the day to day moments that matters the most. 

·         Marriage makes you a better person. If you let yourself be. If not, then that’s another story. Marriage makes you love the person past through his or her mistakes, as God calls us to. It makes you see how imperfect you are too and fall short in truly loving your spouse. It teaches you to be forgiving and extend grace when one is being unlovable.

You will be hurt and feel unloved by your spouse, that’s inevitable because we are not in a Walt-Disney movie, because in reality we will not like  each other sometimes.
Ruth Graham Bell quotes, ‘’Marriage is a union of two good forgivers’’. If couples do not forgive each other, no marriage will last.    

 ·       That I am work in progress and I will keep on learning. On becoming a better wife. On carrying out my role in God's design for marriage. I will fall short as I am not perfect but I will stand again and be faithful on this calling. There will be days that are difficult than the others but I believe that they also come to pass. I thank those days as they teach me new things. New perspective. And a better understanding.

There is no perfect marriage they say and that is true. We are imperfect individuals who rub each other's edges and refine each other. Marriage really make one either better or bitter. The choice is ours.

In a word, live together in the forgiveness of your sins, for without it no human fellowship, least of all a marriage, can survive.   - Dietrich Bonhoeffer    

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - Colossians 3:13